Monday, December 31, 2012

#107

My load is so big, if I stand atop the One Times Square Building, I can get everyone in Times Square wet.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

#106

My load is so big, in Little Alchemy, once you have 349 elements, you combine them all to make "My Load."

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

#105

My load is so big, I never have to dream of a white Christmas, I just make it happen.

Monday, December 24, 2012

#104

My load is so big, my second coming hasn't happened yet because I still haven't finished coming for the first time.

Friday, December 21, 2012

#103


My load is so big, I need a garbage bag for a reservoir tip.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

#102

My load is so big, I never have to shovel my driveway.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

#101


My load is so big, all of the non-active volcanoes are non-active because I came inside them.

Monday, December 17, 2012

#100


My load is so big I've only ejaculated twice throughout history: once to create the big bang and again to cause the extinction of the dinosaurs. My third e-jack will take place on December 21st.

Friday, December 14, 2012

#99


My load is so big, I can fill a cement truck.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

#98


My load is so big, you could surf it from California to Hawaii.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

#97


My load is so big, if I called a phone sex line & stayed on the phone until I was completely done, it'd cost $1200.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

#96


My load is so big, I can hit the ceiling of the NASA Vehicle Assembly building.

Monday, December 10, 2012

#95


My load is so big, I donated sperm for extra X-mas money--I had to go in March so I was done ejaculating by December.

Friday, December 7, 2012

#94


My load is so big, when I knock up a chick, the baby starts out already in the 2nd trimester.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

#93


My load is so big, I've always come to the right place.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

#92


My load is so big, I did a porno and the gag reel was three hours long.

Monday, December 3, 2012

#91


My load is so big, the condom backfires.